Monday, November 14, 2011

Returning Home and Culture Shock

I have been home for 2 weeks now. People have asked me if I'm glad to be home. Yes, it is good to be home. In many ways, home never changes. But I've changed. Here are some things I've had to adjust to since returning.

*Walking in Superstore I was overwhelmed, not by how big the store was or by how expensive many things were, but by how big the yogurt selection was. Yes, yogurt. I could not see the end of the yogurt aisle. In Tactic I had 2 flavour options, well 3 if you include prune. We live in such a priviledged country where we lack nothing and if we do there is nothing holding us back from obtaining that which we lack.

*In Guatemala, I remember friends telling me they were full after eating half their dinner, half a plate of food. At first I did not believe them, but I've come to realize that if a person eats very little every day, they physically cannot eat much more than that. So instead, they will take the rest home in a doggy bag to share with the rest of the family. I still often feel guilty eating dinner. Eating dinner is not a sin by any means. But somehow I feel like I have eaten too much if I go for seconds. I have so much food available to me, I feel like those on the Survivor TV show that gorge themselves when a feast is presented to them. 

*This year I have grown closer to God and learned to love to worship Him. I learned to worship Him with all that I am. I have wondered why my voice is hoarse, why my calves are burning, why my knees are bruised, and why my hands are cracked. Then I realize it's probably from singing as loud as I can,  jumping with all the energy I have, bearing my soul as I kneel on the cement, and applauding God for who He is and what He has done. Now that I am home, my feet feel grounded, my hands feel limp, and my voice feels weak. Maybe it is my fear of standing out, my fear of being judged, or realizing that different cultures worship God in different ways. It is much easier worshiping with everything in me, when everyone else is too. I miss that. Here, though, I have appreciated the depth of the sermons I have listened to so far, as I learn more and go deeper in a congregation that does not have such a young faith (and maybe I just understand to a deeper level listening in English).

*Although I had many friends and coworkers in Guatemala, I did not have the same sense of community that I have here with my family, friends, and church groups. I am realizing that much of my time in Guatemala I was secluded. Part of this was because of my heavy workload outside of class time as well as having many friends who went to university on weekends. Part of it was choosing to grow closer to God on an individual level. Part of it was being spread thin, being in each school only once a week so I connected with many people but only at surface level. And part of it was being unsure of Guatemalan customs and feeling restricted as to what I was allowed to do with my friends, considering many of them were guys, and most of them didn't have money or transportation. Being alone but not lonely makes me realize the value of real community as I reconnect with my friends and family here.

*In Guatemala I was tough. I rarely admitted that I was cold when I was maybe a little chilly, and often did not bring a sweater or jacket if I expected it to warm up as the day went on. I would use an umbrella instead of a raincoat. My second last week there it got cold. It dropped down to 9 or 10 degrees Celsius at night, and as high as 18 during the day, despite the rain, wind, and clouds. Our house had no way of being heated, and stayed quite cool all year since the windows and doors didn't seal, we were downstairs with few windows to the sun, and there was no insulation in the brick walls and tile floor. Coming home, I knew it would be cold. I kept trying to explain to my friends that yes 10C is cold, but not as cold as Canada at this time of year. But I have been so cold since returning. Yes we have a furnace, and yes I dug my sweaters, scarves, and mitts out, and yes I've been eating soup and drinking tea, but I don't remember feeling this cold other Novembers. How am I going to survive January?   

*In Canada I have so much stuff and am always very planned and busy. Guatemalans in general have only what they need, do only what they need to, and plan in advance only what is required of them. Since returning I have been working at getting rid of a lot of stuff I don't need or use anymore. I have also been trying to not over-commit. I have a problem with saying yes to too many things. But I have learned that I do not want to be too busy for people. I am also in a new place where I have never been before. I am no longer a student and I do not have a job (though I have been working on my resume). I am at the end of my own plans and am saying, "Lord send me. Send me to the people in need. I want to be used by You." I trust that I will get a job where He wants me to work. This is an exciting place to be. God is in charge of my future, and I know He is a big, powerful, creative, and imaginative God.

So I want to thank those of you who have read my blog over this year. Thank you to those of who who were praying for me during this time and to those who supported me in other ways (by giving money to me or to the library, by sending care packages, or by visiting). I wish that words and pictures could truly explain what life was and is like there. At the same time, I feel so fortunate to have had the opportunity to have such a great experience that I couldn't have had just by reading a book, looking at pictures, or watching a movie. Until next time: Adios and Dios te bendiga.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Doing Without

Some people say they could never work as a missionary because they would have to do without too many things. It is true that I have had to make do without many of the conveniences of a developed country and without many of the things I grew up using. Here are some of the things I have learned to make do without this year.

I've learned to wash dishes without a dishwahser, without hot water, and without liquid soap.
I've learned to mop without a mop.
I've learned to bake without knowing what temperature the oven is at.
I've learned to accept a schedule change without any notice.
I've learned to enter a house without taking off my shoes.
I've learned to eat steak without a fork and knife.
I've learned to eat food without knowing what it is.
I've learned to have a conversation without knowing what we're talking about.
I've learned to dry clothes without a dryer or the sun.
I've learned to teach without a curriculum.
I've learned to manage a class without knowing the names of all the students.
I've learned to get around without a car.
I've learned to shop without converting the price to dollars.
I've learned to survive without a printer, without salt in salt shakers, and without carpet on the floor.
I've also learned to NEVER leave the house without my keys, umbrella, and toilet paper.

So yes, I have had to do without a few things this year. Did I survive? Yes. Did I learn through it? Yes. Was it all worthwhile? Yes. So I want to encourage you. If God is calling you to missions, if He is asking you to make do without some things for awhile, or if He is bringing you to a place of sacrificing luxuries, don't be afraid. God knows what you NEED and He will provide. It may not be easy, but it will be worthwhile. 

Masapan. A fruit I bought in the market without knowing what it was.

A typical churrasco meal of thin steak, refried beans, and coleslaw.
It is eaten with tortillas and your fingers rather than a fork and knife.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Home Stretch

It's hard to believe, but this school year is over. I have been here now for nine and a half months and have less than 2 weeks to go before going home. I have worked hard, learned a lot, grown closer to God, and overall really enjoyed my experience here. Now that classes are over, this week I will be attending end of the year assemblies in all 5 schools. High school already had their grade 10 and Grade 12 graduations. This was the 12th class of Grade 10 grads, and there were 46 of them graduating this year. This was also the very first grad class for Grade 12, with a science diploma and a major in agriculture and forestry. There were 8 students in the graduating class. It was so great to see these students reaching their goals and achieving such an accomplishment.

Grade 10 students crossing the stage

Grade 12 graduates

This week I have ceremonies in the mornings and dinners in the evenings for the Grade 7's finishing elementary school. Aside from that I will be wrapping up odds and ends, doing some planning for the English program the following year, packing, saying goodbye, and enjoying being in Guatemala while I still can. Already it has been a mix of emotions. I am excited to be done and I'm looking forward to going home, but I will miss a lot of things here, including morning devotions, my students, the culture, speaking Spanish, and spending time with the many friends I have made here. I'm happy, sad, excited, and relieved to be done. It's going to be a good two weeks, despite the emotional rollercoaster that's already started. I'm on the home stretch.  

Saying goodbye to some of my high school students

Me and two of my high school students

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Library Update 4

Over the past 9 months the library has changed, grown, and improved. When my mom came to visit in August, the team brought a number of books that had been ordered. Other people as well have brought books down. We now have 740 books in the library!!! Thank you to Hope for cataloguing them all! These include picture books, levelled readers, novels, devotional books, science non-fiction books, science experiment idea books, and various other books. The problem now is there isn't enough shelf space. Many of these books are sitting in boxes because the one book shelf that there is, is not big enough to hold them all, even with many of them lent out.

It is great to see that many teachers have been borrowing books to use in their classes, or devotional books for personal study. Thank you to Ruth for being in charge of the library, which is currently in the sponsorship office in Chamche. Unfortunately the sponsorship office is only open Monday to Friday mornings, which is exactly when all the elementary school teachers work. This may be one reason why books are not being returned. This is of increasing importance as the school year ends for the 2 month vacation. To try and work out both of these problems, we have decided that it is best if teachers borrow books as a school, rather than individually. That way the secretaries can return the books on their photocopy day. Thank you to Miriam, the secretary in Chamche, who receives returned books outside of library hours.

Before I left Canada, a member of my church, Jose, offered to ask his family in Mexico to collect used Spanish books for the library here in Guatemala. Thank you to Jose for that offer. We are still trying to figure out the best way to make this happen. While here, I get my mail (normally just cards), sent to the Peters' house, and their address is merely a highway marking. I would not trust the postal systems in Central America, however, to deliver a valuable box of books to Tactic. Thankfully one of Les's contacts at Seteca in Guatemala City has agreed to have the books delivered to the seminary, which has an actual postal address. Now we are trying to figure out if it is worth it cost-wise to send a box of books by mail from Mexico to Guatemala, or if will cost more than the books are worth. We might have to wait until someone drives down, through Mexico, to Guatemala for those books to be brought here. All of this is still in the works.  

I am excited to watch how the library has grown over the course of this year. Of course with any new endeavor, the bugs need to be worked out. But I am excited to see how the library will continue to change over the next school year, and to see borrowing and using books within and outside the classroom becoming a regular habit for the teachers and students in these schools. The more people use these books, the greater the blessing will be to them. Already though, many teachers and children have been blessed by the books in this library. Thank you to everyone who donated money to make this possible.

Some students from Chamche enjoying a library book


What to choose, what to choose?

Friday, September 23, 2011

Learning Flexibility

One thing I have been learning all year, from the day I arrived, is flexibility. At first it really stressed me out having classes cancelled, schedules changed, and things not going the way I expected, but over time I have become more relaxed and willing to go with the flow. For example, this morning I finally had classes in Chamche. Because of me being in Canada for one Friday, the fair here for the next Friday, a school-wide fundraiser/fun fair day landing on a Friday, Independence Day on a Thursday and thus a holiday on Friday etc, today was only my fourth day in Chamche school all semester. In the morning staff meeting I found out that next Friday there is a school-wide fundraiser/fun fair in Chijacorral and that the Chamche students will be going there from recess on, so I will only have half the normal time in each class. I also found out that Chamche final exams changed and are now a week early, which happens to be 2 weeks from today. However, their exam week is only Monday to Thursday because Friday is Children's Day and there are no classes. The only day I am available to give the exams is Friday, so the regular classroom teacher will give my exam to the students sometime earlier that week. That is fine, except that being a language course, I like to include an oral component in the exam. I do not expect the Guatemalan classroom teachers to do this. So...what to do? I could either not have an oral component, or give it earlier. If I give the oral component a week early, that would mean NEXT CLASS! So this morning as classes started I had to think on the spot of what exactly I was going to have in the oral component (good thing I had already thought through the exam and had typed up a rough draft) and what I needed to go over in class so the students would be ready. But what about the students who were absent today? And can I get the exam to the secretary in time for her to photocopy? And will they remember anything I teach them anyways? Needless to say I've had to learn not to get upset at the principal for changing the exam dates or cancelling classes or not telling me all this sooner, not to get upset over the fact that these students aren't learning near as much as I had hoped or planned for in the beginning of the year, and not to get upset over the amount of work I now have to do in a very short amount of time. Sure, situations like this still stress me out and make me frustrated. It will take more than 10 months to change that. But I have come a long way this year in learning to be flexible. This is one thing of the things I am thankful for from this year that I will take home with me. It would be appreciated, though, if you could pray for me as this school year wraps up. I have a lot of work to do still and a lot of things I want to get done before I go. I want to make the most of my remaining 5 weeks here.   

Monday, September 12, 2011

Elections

Yesterday Guatemalan citizens voted in a new president, as they do every 4 years. All year the competing parties have been campaigning, advertising, and preparing for this day. Now, I'm not huge on politics, I'm not Guatemalan, and I don't have a TV or radio, so all I can do is summarize what I've seen and heard from other people. 

The corruption in this country is most evident in the government. The wife of the president of this last 4 year term divorced her husband so she could run for president and therefore steal money from the country for another 4 years. No relative of past or present president can run. Fortunately one lawyer had his act together and finally got her out of the running. The last president did little for the country, so who's to think his wife (ex-wife) will do any more in the next 4 years.

The government does not set an example of forward thinking. A president can only be in office for one 4-year term. No wonder their slogans are "Only the family can save the town." "No lies, no promises." and "I did it for you, Guatemala" (says the ex-president's ex-wife regarding the divorce). A president has no incentive to plan for the future if it's guaranteed to end in a mere 4 years.

It's all a matter of money. As an outsider, the election campaigning consisted of painting party logos on walls, hanging leaders' faces from lampposts, and driving vehicles up and down the street playing songs and jingles trying to convince people to vote for that party. An incredible amount of money is spent in just this. It all comes down to this: people will vote for a party they recognize. With a poor, illiterate, uneducated adult population, a vote is not based on watching candidates state their case on TV, reading the pros and cons of each party in the newspaper, or discussing views with people of different backgrounds and opinions. If a family lives in a remote village and the only posters that make their way up there are for one party, they will vote for that one party, if they vote at all. Money is not spent on planning, it is spent on plastering the country with names, faces, and colours. I personally think that's why the owners painted our house light green - because there is a political party light yellow, the same colour as our house used to be.

On the left is a pizza advertisement. On the right is a political party advertisement.

I asked one teacher if he was going to vote. He said no, because he doesn't want to be blamed for the wrong that the elected party will do for the country. Here it's not really about voting for the best party, it's about voting for the least bad. Most people I know wanted the Creo party to win. Unfortunately Patriota won with 36%, next with Lider at 23%. Not high percentages, but not bad considering there were 10 candidates to choose from. 

I asked another teacher why she wasn't going to vote and she said her parents never have, so why should she? Tradition and the fear of change are two things that keep this country from moving forward, but also make this country what it is: a country of unique, preserved culture. A place where intrigued foreigners come to visit, travel, and work.

Yesterday, as the voters lined up, I was glad for 2 things. One: I'm not in Guatemala City where there are bound to be riots, regardless of which party gets in. Two: I'm glad it's finally over. But wait. It's not! If the president gets in with 50%, he's in. But if it's less than that, they have a re-election. Apparently now they take the top 2 and vote between those 2 in November. When will it ever end?!

Today, I'm glad for 3 things: One: I don't have a TV. Two: I'm not going to be here in November for the re-election. Three: I'm Canadian and don't have to fear the next four years just because of who may be elected. Something I have noticed, though, is that many of the people I talk to realize that something in the government needs to change. These people are beginning to look ahead and desire change. These people will make a difference. They may not become president, but they will be the ones to make a difference in their communities and teach the upcoming generation to think change, pray for their country, and dream big.

Dream big, like this presidential candidate.
The billboard reads: justice is punishment for the criminals, wellbeing is for those who work.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

A Gift

This week I received a gift. Before I tell you what it was, I want to explain that Impact Ministries receives a lot of gifts from North Americans, who normally call them "donations" (I am not referring to monetary donations). To the giver, it is a donation; they do not know who will receive it, yet they still give it without expecting anything in return. To the receiver, it is a gift; they do not know who gave it, but receive it and give thanks to God, expecting Him to bless them. This process gives satisfaction to both the one giving (knowing they are helping or blessing someone) and the one receiving (knowing they cannot repay nor are expected to). The problem arises when the giver sees their action not as "giving" but as "getting rid of". Garage sales, thrift stores, and white elephant gift exchanges come to mind along with the saying, "One man's junk is another man's treasure." That is not the purpose of donations to Impact Ministires.

Many Guatemalans are dirt poor. Many children run around in dirty and torn clothing, live in houses of sticks and tin, and wear cheap plastic sandals or nothing on their feet. But that does not mean that their clothes were not in good condition when they first got them. Nor does that mean that they would be happy to receive a shirt with holes in it already. I am reminded of one of my favourite sweaters as a kid. I wore it everywhere, it was so comfortable. Yet over time, it started to show wear. My mom started suggesting I throw it out and wear my other, newer ones. But I didn't want to; it was my favourite. Eventually my mom took the initiative and threw it out for me, even though in my eyes it was still wearable. Well, here in Guatemala, they will not throw it out because it looks ragged. They will only throw it out when they can no longer wear it anymore.


But how do they get new clothes if they have no money? you might ask. Here a thrift store is called a PACA. It is not where people drop off their old stuff and search through one man's junk for a treasure. These stores receive used clothes by the bagful from North America. How do I know it's from North America? Because of all the English written on the shirts, and the name brands that I recognize. When a PACA receives a new bag of clothes, most items will go for Q15 ($2). After awhile, the selection will be picked through, and everything will cost Q10 ($1.25). Then it will drop to Q5. And right before they put out the new selection, they have basically a clearance sale, everything for Q1 ($0.12). Everyone can spare Q1, although by that point, there isn't much left in the way of nice clothes. 

To those who can only afford 12 cent clothing, the gifts Impact Ministries gives to their staff and students is such a blessing. When teams come down throughout the year, they often bring or leave behind clothing, toys, and school supplies. These are distributed by Rita and other staff members in the name of Jesus.

So I want to encourage you to donate. But you know what really blows their socks off? Receiving something brand new, never been worn, never been used. Before giving things away, don't think, "Do I want this anymore? but instead think, "Would I want to receive this as a gift?" A few months ago, Rita asked me if I liked doing puzzles. I said yes, and took one home that had been donated. When I finally finished it, I counted 37 pieces missing, and 7 random pieces from other puzzles, as well as 3 broken pieces. I would not want to receive this as a gift, and neither would anyone else, no matter how poor.

The finished dolphin puzzle

Some of the missing pieces

Now back to the gift I received. I received a brand new set of sheets that fit my single bed. All year I have been using fitted sheets in which the elastic no longer has any stretch, and top sheets that are made for double beds, and pillowcases that don't match the sheets. I haven't complained, but it is such a blessing to have new, matching, sheets that fit my bed. I want to send a big Thank You to the lady who gave them.

But what can I give? you might be asking. In a few weeks we will be celebrating Children's Day here. Over the past year Rita has been collecting and setting aside toys that have been donated. We now have enough for one toy for every single student in our schools. If you are wondering what else you can give, here are some ideas:

- boys rubber boots
- girls skirts
- baby clothes
- dress ties
- sweaters or jackets
- toques, mitts, gloves
- blankets or towels
- whiteboard erasers (none of our classrooms have chalkboards)
- rubber stamps and ink pads (for elementary teacher use, not card making)
- sticky tack
- nice school supplies
- USB sticks (many teachers are expected to use computers for school or work but do not own computers)
- sports equipment
- stuffies, toys, and games (that do not require English and that have all the pieces)
- hygiene items (shampoo, soap, toothpaste, toothbrushes, etc)
- prescription glasses
- medical supplies (please email Impact Ministries for specific needs)
- new socks
(This list is not exhaustive, it is only to spark some ideas)

Here some things NOT to give:
- books in English
- dirty or really old clothing
- bathing suits
- items that have been used up
- shirts with suggestive words or pictures, or alcohol logos
- something you would not want to receive as a gift

Some of the kids who will be receiving a toy on Children's Day